You think that your girlfriend loves these 12 things. And she hates them
Things that women hate, although you always thought you loved.
Sharing a bath
It is obvious that the standard bath was not conceived by nature as a place of storage for two human individuals.
Giant plush toys
Some huge teddy bear will occupy living space for years, collect dust, and he can’t even say: “Find a job already!”
Girls treat the penis (especially serviceable) with respect. And we are not at all funny when the man entrusted to him suddenly hides him between his crossed legs and portrays a woman. Yes, yes, it happens.
Flower delivery to work
Firstly, this is an old trick. Secondly, a pretty colleague who showed me tricks with a stapler is now aware that I have someone. Thirdly, my female colleagues now put buttons on my desk and peer at me over monitors. Yeah. Thanks for flowers.
Your female friend
Even if you and Zhanka never had anything and never will be, she is still a woman. And this unfortunate fact will always keep me in suspense.
It is impossible to achieve a quality, deep sleep if a snoring creature has seized you with a numb grip.
The t-shirt your mother bought for you
Of course, I’ll say that the T-shirt that says “My son is King” is cool and funny. Because I am a well-educated girl and do not swear.
Unexpected pen pal
Believe me, my message “Missing your hands” does not require an answer “Then I will rip off your pajamas with these hands and enter you!” I just showed affection, and did not ask for sex by correspondence! Return the pajamas to their place.
When you draw inspiration from porn movies
Porn films are a business. Often, the actors in them have sex in uncomfortable poses that allow the audience to demonstrate all, so to speak, the ups and downs of the plot. So stop during sex to lift me above my head, standing on one leg!
When you don’t ask for sex
It’s great, of course, that you respect my rights and desires as an individual and a person and do not insist on sex … But actually to hell with the law! The more often you ask, the more I become convinced of my own attractiveness.
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Very sweet, intricate cocktails.
It seems that this multi-layered multi-colored structure, covered with cream, cherries and sweets, is conceived of something bad. For example, poison me.
Your friend Johny
“You won’t believe what Johny came up with this time!” – You exclaim, having returned home wet, in charred clothes and without an ear. Alas, men and women have slightly different ideas about fun. And I do not find Vovan charming. I think Vova is a psychopath. It was not for nothing that his wife and second wife left him (it turned out that Vovan was a polygamist) and he is registered wherever you can get registered.